05-25-2018, 03:45 PM
Anyone who moved around a lot as a kid knows the score. You're going to be challenged and you'll have to deal with it. Boys and girls. It's not even human psychology; it's animal psychology. Sucks, but it's part of the human condition.
To think one must defeat the bully is to misunderstand the situation. It's an initiation of sorts into the group. You don't have to defeat bullies, you merely have to make picking on you cost more than it's worth to them. Just getting in a few punches each time and standing your ground will usually be enough to stop the beatings and you'll make friends quickly for standing up for yourself, usually with others who fight back when pushed.
Suffering the beatings and just taking it seems to just result in more abuse and by more people. Making friends will be harder and, at first anyway, will likely be others who didn't fight back. Seems there's an underlying psychology of no respect for people who won't defend themselves.
Doesn't apply to everyone in every situation, but is a good rule of thumb. Some kids instinctively fight back, thinking, "Well, what else would I do?" For others, it's more difficult.
I first learned this lesson in grade school from a new kid from Michigan. Served me well with every move.
There's trouble brewing when kids won't fight back and become a constantly victimized pariah or they do fight back and the bullying doesn't stop. Probably need to get adults involved at that point, if only to head off any deadly means of retaliation...
Kids aren't being taught such simple truths, even as they see them play out every day in their own lives. They are instead having their minds filled with social narratives that are absolute fantasy. A parent's job is to prepare their kids for living an honest, productive life here on Earth. I'm convinced we aren't living up to that and we're all paying a high price for it.
Get off my lawn! Damned kids...
To think one must defeat the bully is to misunderstand the situation. It's an initiation of sorts into the group. You don't have to defeat bullies, you merely have to make picking on you cost more than it's worth to them. Just getting in a few punches each time and standing your ground will usually be enough to stop the beatings and you'll make friends quickly for standing up for yourself, usually with others who fight back when pushed.
Suffering the beatings and just taking it seems to just result in more abuse and by more people. Making friends will be harder and, at first anyway, will likely be others who didn't fight back. Seems there's an underlying psychology of no respect for people who won't defend themselves.
Doesn't apply to everyone in every situation, but is a good rule of thumb. Some kids instinctively fight back, thinking, "Well, what else would I do?" For others, it's more difficult.
I first learned this lesson in grade school from a new kid from Michigan. Served me well with every move.
There's trouble brewing when kids won't fight back and become a constantly victimized pariah or they do fight back and the bullying doesn't stop. Probably need to get adults involved at that point, if only to head off any deadly means of retaliation...
Kids aren't being taught such simple truths, even as they see them play out every day in their own lives. They are instead having their minds filled with social narratives that are absolute fantasy. A parent's job is to prepare their kids for living an honest, productive life here on Earth. I'm convinced we aren't living up to that and we're all paying a high price for it.
Get off my lawn! Damned kids...
"The best we can hope for concerning the people at large is that they be properly armed."
-- Alexander Hamilton, The Federalist Papers at 184-188
-- Alexander Hamilton, The Federalist Papers at 184-188