2020 Joke of the Day

[kmon]

[kmon]

A teacher goes around in her class asking each of the kids what they need at home.

Joey says, “A computer.”

The teacher replies, “That would be very useful.”

Jenny says, “A new lawn mower.”

The teacher again replies, “That would also be very useful.”

Little Johnny pops up and says, “At my house we don't need anything!”

The teacher asks him to think again carefully, as everybody needs something.

Little Johnny replies,

“No, I'm sure we don't. When Biden was elected, I clearly remember my dad saying, ‘Well, that's the last [censored] thing we needed!’”

[kmon]

THOUGHTS ON EXTENDING YOUR LONGEVITY

LOOK AT THESE FACTS...

1 The inventor of the treadmill died at the age of 54

2. The inventor of gymnastics died at the age of 57

3. The world bodybuilding champion died at the age of 41

4. The best footballer in the world Maradona, died age of 60.

5. James Fuller Fixx credited with helping start America's fitness revolution by popularizing

the sport of running died of a heart attack while jogging at 52 years of age.


BUT

6. The KFC inventor died at 94.

7. Inventor of Nutella brand died at the age of 88

8. Imagine, cigarette maker Winston died at the age of 102

9. The inventor of opium died at the age of 116 in an earthquake

10. And the Hennessey Liquor inventor died at 98.

How did these doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life?

The rabbit is always jumping up and down but it lives for only 2 years and the turtle that doesn't exercise at all, lives 400 years..

So, take some rest, chill, stay cool, eat, drink and enjoy your life.

[kmon]

[montana]

[ATTACH=CONFIG]18795[/ATTACH]

[Zeneffect]

Edited - removed

Re-edited - ah what the hell, it was funny but for all the wrong reasons.

https://youtu.be/LfTaCYpOA2s

[kmon]

[Sinclair]

My niece's husband put me onto this. It is not a joke and it is not funny, but it is a truism.

"We live in a Country where the officials are quick to punish a child for just pretending to be an Indian while playing, but they are even quicker to defend a grown man's right to pretend to be a woman!"

[montana]

[ATTACH=CONFIG]18866[/ATTACH]

[Dub]

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, " I clocked
you at 80 miles per hour, sir."

The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear,
you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector
unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."

The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."

The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"

I love this part....

"Only when he's been drinking."

[montana]

[ATTACH=CONFIG]18882[/ATTACH]

[montana]

[ATTACH=CONFIG]19084[/ATTACH]

[jasper2408]

[url=][/url]

[Old Bob]

[ATTACH=CONFIG]19086[/ATTACH]

[Scouttracker]

[ATTACH=CONFIG]19094[/ATTACH]

[Old Bob]

[ATTACH=CONFIG]19095[/ATTACH]

[Scouttracker]

[ATTACH=CONFIG]19102[/ATTACH]

[jasper2408]

[url=][/url]

[url=][/url]

[jasper2408]

[url=][/url]

[jasper2408]

[url=][/url]