2020 Joke of the Day

[kmon]

Reminds me of me some days

[kmon]

[kmon]

[Sinclair]

kmon,
Sometimes you are scary. I am not certain that want to belong to the same forum as you. "They" might want to come after us all for just associating with you! Keep them coming. "They" can go to Seattle.

[montana]

[ATTACH=CONFIG]16489[/ATTACH][ATTACH=CONFIG]16491[/ATTACH]

[montana]

[ATTACH=CONFIG]16507[/ATTACH]

[kmon]

There is nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients.

A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.

The Receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?"

'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that."

"Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.

The Receptionist replied, "Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private."

The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone."

The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"

"There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.

The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?"

"I can't piss out of it," he replied.

The waiting room erupted in laughter...

[Old Bob]

[ATTACH=CONFIG]16516[/ATTACH]

[kmon]

[montana]

Good one

[kmon]

Passed along to me by an older gentleman.

A new and easy test for Covid-19 is doing the rounds and it's simple, quick and positive (or negative if you see what I mean).

Take a glass and pour a decent dram of your favorite whisky (gin or rum) into it; then see if you can smell it, if you can then you are halfway there; then drink it and if you can taste it then it is reasonable to assume you are currently free of the virus.

I tested myself 9 times last night and was virus free every time thank goodness.

I will have to test myself again today though, as I have developed a headache which can also be one of the symptoms.

[Old Bob]

[ATTACH=CONFIG]16523[/ATTACH]

[ATTACH=CONFIG]16524[/ATTACH]

[Old Bob]

[ATTACH=CONFIG]16525[/ATTACH]

[TexHill]

That's awesome! I'm the parts manager for a Kubota dealer, and I'm going to see if I can order some of these to sell!

[TomSawyerNW]

That's awesome! I'm the parts manager for a Kubota dealer, and I'm going to see if I can order some of these to sell!

If you do, let us know. I own a couple Kubotas.

[kmon]

[kmon]

[/quote]

[Wethepeople]

Old bum walks into the local no nonsense Pub. Tells the bartender, "hey barkeep, pour me a double, pour a round for the house and have one for yer self."
All enjoy their drinks. Bartender tells the old bum, "that'll be 114 bucks." The bum replies, " I'm sorry, but I don't have any money." The no nonsense bartender grabs the ol bum by the collar, hauls him out the back door into the alley, slaps him around a bit and tells him "don't come back."
The next week, the ol bum returns to the Pub. The bartender says "I thought I told you not to come back." The ol bum replies, " but I have money this time." He hands the bartender the $114 he owes and tells the bartender, "pour me a double, a round for the house and have one yer self." Everyone enjoys their drink and thanks the ol bum, when the bartender tells him that'll be another 114 bucks. The ol bum replies, " I gave you my last 114 dollars earlier." The no nonsense barkeep grabs the ol guy by the collar again, hauls him into the back alley and roughs him up pretty good. Tells the ol bum, "don't come back."
The following week, the ol bum returns to the Pub, hands the barkeep $114 and another $100 bill. Bartender asks, "what's the extra $100 bill for?" The ol bum replies, "that's so you'll pour me a double and a round for the house." The barkeep stares quizzically at the ol bum and asks, "what about me, don't I get one this time?" The ol bum yells " hell no, you get mean when you drink."

[kmon]

[Old Bob]

[ATTACH=CONFIG]16591[/ATTACH]