2019 Joke of the Day

[kmon]

[JASmith]

That's too close for comfort!

+1 !

[TexHill]

[JASmith]

Not funny for those of us mourning the loss pf Notre Dame.

Perhaps in a few months....

[NugginFutz]

Definitely too soon

[Phendrickson]

I giggled, but also have a semi-dark sense of humor.

[snell]

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[montana]

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[phishfood]

Good one, Montana!

[kmon]

My wife just explained to me why guys eyes go out of focus when they get older.

It so we still think our wives are hot!

[montana]

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[montana]

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[kmon]

During a revival an evangelist asked the people in line what they needed. One man's request was for his hearing.

The evangelist spit on his finger, put it in the man's ear, prayed for him and asked him, "How's your hearing now?"

The man replied, "I don't know. It's not until next Tuesday."

[Lemonaid]

If your kid wants a Keester egg, just say "NO!"

[snell]

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[montana]

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[kmon]

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed
by those who are dumber.
~Plato, ancient Greek Philosopher


Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where
there is no river.
~Nikita Khrushchev, Russian Soviet politician


When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm
beginning to believe it.
~Quoted in 'Clarence Darrow for the Defense' by Irving Stone.


Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go
out and buy some more tunnel.
~John Quinton, American actor/writer


Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds
from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.
~Oscar Ameringer, "the Mark Twain of American Socialism."


I offered my opponents a deal: "if they stop telling lies about me, I will
stop telling the truth about them".
~Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952..


A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.
~ Texas Guinan, 19th century American businessman


I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be
left to the politicians.
~Charles de Gaulle, French general & politician


Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to
change the locks.
~Doug Larson (English middle-distance runner who won gold medals at the 1924
Olympic Games in Paris , 1902-1981)

[NugginFutz]

[terrywick4]

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[montana]

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