2019 Joke of the Day

[NugginFutz]

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[FONT=&amp]None of that Sissy [/FONT][FONT=&amp]Crap[/FONT]

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Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good,[/FONT][/INDENT]

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[INDENT=2][FONT=&amp]but never actually come close to reality?

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[INDENT=2][FONT=&amp]Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.[/FONT][/INDENT]

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You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this "card"-[/FONT][/INDENT]

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[INDENT=2][FONT=&amp]Just the stone cold truth of a great friendship.
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[TD][INDENT]1. [/INDENT]
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[INDENT]When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.[/INDENT]

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[TD="align: left"][INDENT]2.[/INDENT]
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[TD="align: left"][INDENT]When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.[/INDENT]
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[TD="align: left"][INDENT]3.[/INDENT]
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[TD="align: left"][INDENT]When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.[/INDENT]
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[TD="align: left"][INDENT]4. [/INDENT]
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[TD="align: left"][INDENT]When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.[/INDENT]
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[TD="align: left"][INDENT]5. [/INDENT]
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[TD="align: left"][INDENT]When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.[/INDENT]
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[TD="align: left"][INDENT]6.[/INDENT]
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[TD="align: left"][INDENT]When you are confused -- I will use little words.[/INDENT]
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[TD="align: left"][INDENT]7. [/INDENT]
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[TD="align: left"][INDENT]When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.[/INDENT]
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[TD="align: left"][INDENT]8.[/INDENT]
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[TD="align: left"][INDENT]When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.[/INDENT]
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[TD="align: left"][INDENT]9.[/INDENT]
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[TD="align: left"][INDENT]This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end.
'Why?' you may ask;
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[INDENT]'Because you are my friend'.
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Friendship is like peeing your pants:

Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.[/TD]
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