2019 Joke of the Day

[NugginFutz]

Out with the old, and in with the new!

Again, in honor of our boards leader and owner, BFT, I'd like to open this thread with some more Minnesota-style humor.

Bad News
[FONT=&amp]The doctor tells Ole he only has a few days left to live. Ole thinks a little, looks hard at Lena, and says, “Lena, promise me. [/FONT]Swear to me that when I’m gone, you’ll marry Sven Svenson.”
“SVEN SVENSON???” she shrieks. “You’ve hated him all your life!”
Ole answers, “Yep, I still do.”

Days later...

The Newspaper
[FONT=&amp]Ole died. Lena goes to the newspaper office to print the death notice. [/FONT]
[FONT=&amp]The clerk asks her, “What do you want it to say?” [/FONT]
[FONT=&amp]“Ole died.” [/FONT]
[FONT=&amp]The clerk looks up. “What else?” [/FONT]
[FONT=&amp]“Nothing else.” [/FONT]
[FONT=&amp]“But Lena, you were married to Ole all those years. Don’t you want to say anything else about him?” [/FONT]
[FONT=&amp]“Nope.” [/FONT]
[FONT=&amp]The clerk thinks a minute. “You know, Lena, it won’t cost you any more if you add a little. The first ten words are the same price.” [/FONT]
[FONT=&amp]“Ten words, and it won’t cost extra?” she asks. [/FONT]
[FONT=&amp]The clerk nods. [/FONT]
[FONT=&amp]Lena thinks hard, then says, “Ole died. Boat for sale.” [/FONT]