2020 Joke of the Day

[Old Bob]

For my Texas brothers...

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[montana]

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[Old Bob]

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[kmon]

1. ARBITRAITOR

A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s

2. BERNADETTE

The act of torching a mortgage.

3. BURGLARIZE

What a crook sees through

4. AVOIDABLE

What a bullfighter tries to do

5. EYEDROPPER

Clumsy ophthalmologist

6. CONTROL

A short, ugly inmate

7. COUNTERFEITER

Workers who put together kitchen cabinets

8. ECLIPSE

What an English barber does for a living.

9. LEFT BANK

What the bank robbers did when their bag was full of money.

10. HEROES

What a man in a boat does

11. PARASITES

What you see from the Eiffel Tower

12. PARADOX

Two physicians

13. PHARMACIST

A helper on a farm

14. POLARIZE

What penguins see through

15. PRIMATE

Remove your spouse from in front of TV

16. RELIEF

What trees do in the spring

17. RUBBERNECK

What you do to relax your wife

18. SELFISH

What the owner of a seafood store does

19. SUDAFED

Brought litigation against a government official

20. PARADIGMS

twenty Cents

[Old Bob]

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[kmon]

[Old Bob]

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[kmon]

[Lemonaid]

[Old Bob]

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[montana]

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[Sinclair]

Montana, it isn't funny. Do you realize how much harm that man can do in just five minutes? We have had idiots for Presidents before, but we can only hope that he stays in the basement for four years.

[montana]

Montana, it isn't funny. Do you realize how much harm that man can do in just five minutes? We have had idiots for Presidents before, but we can only hope that he stays in the basement for four years.

That was the point...[ATTACH=CONFIG]17194[/ATTACH]

[Old Bob]

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[NugginFutz]

This is straight from Scotland.

Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was :
"Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk."
The question was worth 70 points or none at all.
One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages. However, he wrote :

1) It is perfect formula for the child.
2) It provides immunity against several diseases.
3) It is always the right temperature.
4) It is inexpensive.
5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
6) It is always available as needed.
And then the student was stuck.
Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:
7) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the ground where the cat can't get it.

He got an A.

[NugginFutz]

[video=youtube_share;9WoM2bHfr48]https://youtu.be/9WoM2bHfr48[/video]

[kmon]

[Sinclair]

That was the point...[ATTACH=CONFIG]17194[/ATTACH]

Montana, it is a crying shame that so many Americans have failed to learn the lessons that history has taught us red necked country boys and girls.

[GregP42]

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[TomSawyerNW]

LOL! So true.

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