Kindness at the drive-thru window...
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Very funny, old people don't get angry, but if needed, they will get even.
I was in the McDonald's drive-through the other morning and the young lady behind me honked at me; very upset because I was taking too long to pay. "Wow. Take the high road," I thought to myself. So, I paid for her food too.
As I moved up, she leaned out the window looking all crazy at me, because the cashier told her I had paid for her food order. She felt embarrassed.
When I got to the second window to get my food, I showed them both receipts and took her food too. I paid for it - it was mine!
Now she has to go back through the line again and wait even longer. She's gonna learn today you just don't mess with us old people.
A man left work one Friday afternoon but, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the whole weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck.
When He finally got home Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was berated for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.
Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"
To which he replied, "That would be fine with me."
Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.
Come Thursday, the swelling went down just enough so that he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
Fess, My wife laughed when I read here that one and this one, I have a great LADY
One evening a Husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it will take a few inches off of your butt!'
His wife was not amused, but decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded. The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What the Hell is this?' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.
'April',he hollered into the bathroom,'Why did you put Talcum Powder in my underwear?'
She replied with a snicker. 'It's not talcum powder; it's 'Miracle Grow'!!
1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.
3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country, and who are very good at crossword puzzles.
4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.
5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could find the time -- and if they didn't have to leave Southern California to do it.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a poor job of it, thank you very much.
7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.
8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who is running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.
9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but need the baseball scores.
10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure if there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped, minority, feminist, atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided of course, that they are not Republicans.
11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.
12. The Austin American Statesman is read by people who just caught a catfish and need something to wrap it in.
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
06-14-2020, 09:37 PM (This post was last modified: 06-15-2020, 12:09 AM by NugginFutz.)
This morning Old Bob lucked out and was able to buy two boxes of ammo.
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He placed the boxes on the front seat and headed back home, but stopped at a gas station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the next pump.
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She glanced at the two boxes of ammo, bent over and leaned in his passenger window, and said in a sexy voice, "I'm a big believer in barter, old fella. Would you be interested in trading sex for ammo?"
Old Bob thought for a few seconds and asked,
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"What kind of ammo 'ya got?"
No reason not to share the fun, eh, Bob?
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
NugginFutz Wrote:This morning Old Bob lucked out and was able to buy two boxes of ammo.
[ATTACH=CONFIG]16308[/ATTACH]
He placed the boxes on the front seat and headed back home, but stopped at a gas station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the next pump.
[ATTACH=CONFIG]16311[/ATTACH]
She glanced at the two boxes of ammo, bent over and leaned in his passenger window, and said in a sexy voice, "I'm a big believer in barter, old fella. Would you be interested in trading sex for ammo?"
Old Bob thought for a few seconds and asked,
[ATTACH=CONFIG]16310[/ATTACH]
"What kind of ammo 'ya got?"
No reason not to share the fun, eh, Bob?
Happy to share Nugginfutz. Since we're sharing...
This last winter I was ice fishing and not catching a thing. NugginFutz was ten fet away and reeling them in as fast as he could bait his hook.
I asked NugginFutz his secret, he replied hmmpph yer hmrmph rmmm.
I asked again, he replied, hmmpph yer hmrmph rmmm.
I told him I couldnt understand. NugginFutz spit a huge gob of stuff from his mouth and said, Keep your worms warm!
I refuse to be victimized by notions of virtuous behavior.
![[Image: full-3152-236133-burglar.jpg]](https://texashuntingforum.com/forum/pics/userpics/2020/06/full-3152-236133-burglar.jpg)
