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Joke of the Day - Printable Version +- 6.5 Grendel Forum (https://65grendel.com) +-- Forum: 6.5 GRENDEL FORUM NEWS (https://65grendel.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=5) +--- Forum: Announcements (https://65grendel.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=24) +--- Thread: Joke of the Day (/showthread.php?tid=22627) |
Joke of the Day - BluntForceTrauma - 01-03-2021 [INDENT]Here's to a new year of laughter and good humor![/INDENT] Joke of the Day - Old Bob - 01-04-2021 [ATTACH=CONFIG]17415[/ATTACH] Joke of the Day - kmon - 01-04-2021 1. The dumbest thing I ever bought was a 2020 planner. 2. I was so bored I called Jake from State Farm just to talk to someone. He asked me what I was wearing. 3. 2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people. 4. The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house & their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors! 5. This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her dog. It was obvious she thought her dog understood her. I came into my house & told my cat. We laughed a lot. 6. Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom. 7. Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands? 8. This virus has done what no woman has been able to do. Cancel sports, shut down all bars & keep men at home! 9. I never thought the comment, I wouldnt touch him/her with a 6-foot pole would become a national policy, but here we are. 10. I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator. 11. I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to the Backyard. Im getting tired of the Living Room. 12. Never in a million years could I have imagined I would go up to a bank teller wearing a mask & ask for money. Joke of the Day - kmon - 01-04-2021
Joke of the Day - Old Bob - 01-12-2021 Subject: SPEAKING GERMAN IN TEXAS In Texas there is a town called New Braunfels, where there is a large German-speaking population. One day, a local rancher driving down a country road noticed a man using his hand to drink water from the rancher's stock pond. The rancher stopped, rolled down the window of his pickup and shouted: "Trink das Wasser nicht, die Kühe haben Scheiße drin!" This means: "Don't drink that water, the cows have crapped in it!" The man shouted back: "I'm from New York and I'm down here to campaign for the Democratic National Committee. I didn't understand you. Speak in English, please." The rancher replied: "You can drink more water using both hands." Joke of the Day - Old Bob - 01-21-2021 This is the story of a young UT college student flying in the right seat of a small plane with an elderly pilot. The pilot has a heart attack and dies. The young lady passenger frantically grabs the controls and the mike and calls out... "May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! The pilot just had a heart attack and is dead and I don't know how to fly. Someone help me! Please help me!" She then hears a calming voice on the radio saying... "This is ABIA Air Traffic Control and I hear you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Just take a deep breath ma'am, stay calm & everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position." She replies, "I'm 5' 4" and I support Joe Biden." "Oh, O.K."... says the calm voice on the radio. "Now slowly repeat after me... Our Father, who art in Heaven... Joke of the Day - kmon - 01-22-2021
Joke of the Day - TexHill - 01-22-2021
Joke of the Day - montana - 01-26-2021 [ATTACH=CONFIG]17472[/ATTACH] Joke of the Day - MrDraco - 02-04-2021
Joke of the Day - Old Bob - 02-05-2021 [ATTACH=CONFIG]17506[/ATTACH] Joke of the Day - Old Bob - 02-05-2021 [ATTACH=CONFIG]17507[/ATTACH] Joke of the Day - kmon - 02-08-2021
Joke of the Day - Old Bob - 02-08-2021 [ATTACH=CONFIG]17517[/ATTACH] Joke of the Day - Sinclair - 02-09-2021 Old Bob Wrote:[ATTACH=CONFIG]17517[/ATTACH] Amen to that, Brother. Preparing to run to the grocery store is more complicated than when we had little ones to get ready! No sign any of this nonsense going away any time soon. Joke of the Day - kmon - 02-09-2021 ![]() [/quote] ![]() [/quote]
Joke of the Day - kmon - 02-11-2021
Joke of the Day - kmon - 02-11-2021 Two babies were sitting in their cribs, when one baby shouted to the other: "Are you a little boy or a little girl?" "I don't know", replied the other baby giggling. "What do you mean you don't know?" said the first baby. "I mean I don't know how to tell the difference", was the reply. "Well I do," said the first baby chuckling. "I'll climb into your crib and find out." He carefully got himself into the other baby's crib, then quickly disappeared in to the blankets. After a couple of minutes, he resurfaced with a big smile on his face. "You're a little girl and I'm a little boy," he said proudly. "You're ever so clever," said the baby girl, "but how can you tell?" "It's quite easy really," replied the baby boy, "you've got on pink socks and I've got blue ones." Joke of the Day - kmon - 02-15-2021 Truthful Humor courtesy of Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy, the Will Rogers of our time.. Kennedy graduated Magna cum Laude from Vanderbilt, has a Law degree from University of Virginia, and a degree from Oxford in England. He is no country bumpkin; he is very insightful & a bit humorous. About Cuomo lecturing us - "It is like a frog calling you ugly" This election in Ga will be the most important in history, you have nothing to worry about unless you are a tax payer, parent, gun owner, cop, person of faith, or an unborn baby! You can only be young once, but you can always be immature. Americans are thinking, there are some good members of Congress but we cant figure out what they are good for. Others are thinking, how did these morons make it through the birth canal. Always Follow your heart.....but take your brains with you The short answer is No. The long answer is Hell No. It must suck to be that dumb When the Portland mayor's IQ gets to 75, he oughta sell. I keep trying to see Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer's point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my arse. Go sell your crazy somewhere else...we are all stocked up here. She has a Billy goat brain and a mockingbird mouth! I trust Middle Eastern countries as much as gas station sushi, with the exception being Israel. You can get a goat to climb tree, but youd be better off hiring a squirrel. This has been going on since Moby Dick was a minnow. Don't stand between a dog and a fire hydrant. Our country was founded by geniuses, but it's being run by idiots. It appears that he might do the right thing, but only when supervised and cornered like a rat. This is why aliens won't talk to us. Democrats are running around like they found a hair in their biscuit. Chuck Schumer just moos and follows Nancy Pelosi into the cow chute. What planet did you parachute in from? Senator John Kennedy on Nancy Pelosi, She can strut sitting down! Joke of the Day - Old Bob - 02-15-2021 THE PLAN
In the beginning, there was a plan, And then came the assumptions, And the assumptions were without form, And the plan was without substance, And the darkness was upon the face of the workers, And they spoke among themselves saying, "This is a crock of excrement and it stinks." And the workers went unto their Supervisors and said of the plan, "It is a pile of dung, and we cannot live with the smell." And the Supervisors went unto their Managers saying, "It is a container of excrement, and it is very strong, Such that none may abide by it." And the Managers went unto their Directors saying, "It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide by its strength." And the Directors spoke among themselves saying to one another, "It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong." And the Directors went to the Vice Presidents saying unto them, "It promotes growth, and it is very powerful." And the Vice Presidents went to the President, saying unto him, "This new plan will actively promote the growth and vigor Of the company with very powerful effects." And the President looked upon the Plan And saw that it was good, And the Plan became Policy. And this, my friends, is how shit happens. |