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New Element Discovered Governmentium - oldbarnowl - 07-12-2016

A New Element Discovered



Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to
science.

The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neuron, 25 assistant neurons,
88 deputy neurons, and 198 assistant deputy neurons, giving it an atomic
mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be
detected, because it impedes every action with
which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally
take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; it does not decay, but
instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neurons and deputy neurons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each
reorganization will cause more morons to become neurons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that
Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This
hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element
that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many
peons but twice as many morons.


New Element Discovered Governmentium - rabiddawg - 07-12-2016

Smile


New Element Discovered Governmentium - Bravo Vector Tango - 07-12-2016

The EPA and CDC issued a joint statement shortly after the announcement acknowledging the discovery of Governmentium:

The Environmental Protection Agency and the Center for Disease Control are unanimous in our recommendation that upon discovery of even trace deposits of Governmentium, steps must be taken to immediately and properly dispose of it in its entirety. Because of the negative environmental impact, and the debilitating and irreversible neurological decline caused to humans on contact, Governmentium must be handled and disposed of with the greatest of care and caution.

It is in the best interest of the environment as well as our society, that it immediately be placed in dry cask storage, and relocated to deep geological depository facilities such as the Nuclear Waste storage facility operated by Idaho National Laboratories in Idaho Falls, Idaho, or the Yucca Mountain Nuclear Waste Repository in Nye county, Nevada.

However, No single facility should withstand the burden of the majority of Governmentium, due to it's cumulative hazard. Reported storage cask failure should be met with the immediate evacuation, and subsequent controlled collapse of the facility via detonation.


New Element Discovered Governmentium - oldbarnowl - 07-13-2016

Love it...lol...


New Element Discovered Governmentium - LRRPF52 - 07-13-2016

[Image: 2eb.jpg]


New Element Discovered Governmentium - A5BLASTER - 07-14-2016

If you read this post and dont find it funny as heck, your infected with the new element. LMFAO.


New Element Discovered Governmentium - WillD - 07-17-2016

Since we're speaking about 'rons' here are two of my favorites.

The lessron - not enough rons to be a moron.

The noron - completely out of the ron race.

-Will-


New Element Discovered Governmentium - customcutter - 07-24-2016

Thanks oldbarnowl, I needed a pick-me-up today, and that was perfect.


New Element Discovered Governmentium - oldbarnowl - 07-25-2016

customcutter Wrote:Thanks oldbarnowl, I needed a pick-me-up today, and that was perfect.

You are welcome...